


Boys and Girls

by highboys (orphan_account)



Category: Kimi to Boku
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Genderswap, High School, Hormonal Teenagers, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-13
Updated: 2012-07-15
Packaged: 2017-10-27 07:17:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/293118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/highboys
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>6 takes on what-if-the-characters-were-born-female/male.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Tsukahara Kanako

 

When Kanako was in kindergarten, she met public enemy number one.

Of course, in retrospect, public enemy number one hadn't really done a lot to earn her eternal spite. He had been quietly applying paste on that shy kid's lunch box, and she had taken one look at Shun-kun's poor tumbler and said, with the arrogance of a child, "Yuuta-kun's playing with Shun-kun again, huh?"

Her hated foe didn't bother to level her with a look, simply choosing to clean out his nails with the nonchalance she'd only ever seen on adults. " _Sensei's_ playing with Shun-chan too."

It was the inflection that made Kanako hit him with her Bishoujo Sailor Senshi doll and cry.

As far as she was concerned, that particular scene in her preschool years was a stain in her otherwise beautiful memories of childhood. Call it selective blindness or hypocrisy, but the boy had absolutely no right to judge a girl's preferences for older men. Perhaps if she had been a boy, it would have been the start of a (grudgingly) close friendship, but because she was a girl and held a grudge like Amaterasu on a bad day, she proceeded to snub him all throughout the year. (Especially when that cute high school boy came to class for a few sessions. If she hadn't been too distracted, she would have never lived it down.)

It was with some relief that she rarely saw him during elementary school, and she cherished his absence even as she nurtured years and years of bitterness over the brat's popularity among their peers. She'd gotten into a fight of epic proportions with Hisako once, when Hisako had made the mistake of implying something other than her raging hatred for the guy, and it was only resolved through a sufficient amount of bribery and flattery. At least Hisako had the good sense not to mention it ever again.

Too bad her luck seemed to run out come junior high school.

"Oh fuck," blurted out Kanako when she saw him lounging around the doorway to their classroom, "it's _you_."

The annoyance squinted at her, for a second, before turning to one of their classmates. "Do you know this girl?"

Kanako had never wanted to hit someone as if her life depended on it as much as she did then and there.

It didn't help that when break time had arrived, Shun-kun -- no, Matsuoka-san, she reminded herself, they were at school! -- visibly brightened at seeing her and said, very cheerfully, "Kana-chan, I didn't know you were classmates with Yuuki-kun."

Asaba Yuuta looked at her with some interest, but Yuuki's face didn't even register the slightest trace of recognition. "Who?" Yuuki said, but as Shun opened his mouth to explain, he'd already grown bored and chose to fascinate himself with his brother's hair. Yuuta didn't seem to be bothered by it too much, but Kanako didn't remember having problems with him. He'd mostly kept close to Shun in kindergarten (and apparently until now), and she'd thought he was a pretty cool and okay --

"I heard Azuma-sensei's your homeroom teacher," said Yuuta. "Isn't it nice to rekindle a childhood love?"

Bastard, Kanako decided viciously. No wonder they were brothers.

"Ah," said Yuuki, simply. "So you were the cake eater."

"Yuuki-kun," admonished Shun.

"I thought cake eaters were men who liked older women," said Yuuta.

"I dunno," said Yuuki. "It's the first time I've seen a real, live specimen of her kind."

Kanako wanted to crawl into a cave and die. "That's hardly appropriate classroom discussion," said Kanako, tightly. She closed her eyes and thought of all the nice things in the world. Cake. Perfect report cards. Azuma-sensei. Beating the crap out of Asaba Yuuki -- oh wait, like _that_ wasn't counterproductive. What she needed was to regain her center and forget his past transgressions, if she wanted to become student council president in the future. Think of this as training, she told herself. Think of the power. The prestige. Think of what Azuma-sensei will say. Think of--

"Can I call you cake eater in class?" Yuuki said.

Kanako, very calmly, raised her hand to grab at his hair.

The suspension she got was almost worth it.

Almost.

Somehow, the entire class had translated her declaration of war as proof of their undeniable love. "I think it's so romantic," said the girl two seats behind her during gym class. "You've been pining for so long and now you're finally getting fed up of waiting for him to make a move."

"What," said Kanako, flatly.

"Boys can be idiots," another chimed in, "but you don't have to worry about Yuuki-kun. He may act like that but I'll bet he likes you a lot too."

"What," repeated Kanako. Apparently even girls were stupid when it came to imagined romances.

She was so upset over how her classmates had misinterpreted her aggression that she didn't notice when she tripped over a wayward volleyball. She sprained her ankle and got looks of pity from the attractive (and older, _fine_ , could the world stop judging her now?) gym teacher, which wasn't that bad. What took the cake, however, was when some blonde idiot had crowed at Yuuki to "man up and take his girlfriend to the nurse". And the bastard hadn't denied anything.

"Great," said Kanako, visibly seething as Yuuki offered her his shoulder. "Just what I needed."

"Do you want me to princess carry you?" Yuuki said.

"I can _walk_ ," said Kanako, sharply, but she still looked uncertain even as Yuuki bent to crouch down, as if telling her to climb on.

Yuuki gave her that _look_ that made all of their female classmates erupt in a chorus of _awwww_ s and created yet another rumor of their non-existent relationship, which, frankly, Kanako thought was disgusting. Filtered through the strange-boy-speak system of her brain, Yuuki was probably giving her his version of triumphant glee (it really didn't amount to much), and it was like kindergarten all over again only _worse_ because now Kanako's hormones chose that exact moment to go into overdrive and admit that, yeah, sure, she was an inverted cake eater, but Yuuki was kind of. Well.

She cut that thought off, immediately. Kanako tried to channel _her_ version of a finger for his thoughts. Some things were better left as uncharted territory.

"Tsukahara-san," said Yuuki, mocking even when he didn't mean to be, "you can't keep me waiting forever."

For the first time in a long time, Kanako felt as though she were well and truly fucked.

 


	2. Asaba Yuuka

 

Yuuka was thirteen when she started to bleed for the first time. She had been flipping through a nondescript travel and lifestyle magazine, pondering the difference between the many bath waters offered in a featured spa, when her father had sluggishly wandered into the living room with a cup of coffee in one hand and a tabloid in the other. He took one look at the sofa she was sitting on, then at her legs, and finally to his coffee cup, as if considering whether or not he'd unintentionally spiked it with rum, before he finally said, "Either you had a messy art project or I'm too drunk to recognize paint for blood."

Yuuka looked up at him, then at her knee. She leaned over and lifted the hem of her dress, peering at the streak of red against the whiteness of her thighs.

"Dad," said Yuuka, calmly, "do you know where mom keeps the tampons, or do I have to resort to strips of cloth for this?"

"Mama," Her father warbled, "I'm not awake enough for this conversation."

It turned out her mother wasn't, either, but the house was filled with a thrum of combined thrill (from her mother) and dread (from her father). The only one who hadn't made a passing reference to the wonders and horrors of adolescence was, thankfully, Yuuki.

"So I heard you were bleeding through your what-should-not-be-named," said Yuuki.

"So I heard dad was considering castration for you," said Yuuka, and Yuuki shut up.

Having her period didn't change much of her lifestyle; it had only meant minor abdominal pain at intermittent periods and having to adjust to what was essentially a reduced form of pampers -- not really much of an upgrade from childhood, in fact, only her first days tended to come whenever she had classes. She kept a calendar now, to mark irregularities, at first, and then to predict when she should start pocketing a napkin or two to prevent embarrassing accidents.

It didn't really propel her into the turmoils of adolescence, either; Yuuka was still slight (if a little more limber) and relatively flat-chested, to her mother's despair. The girls in class still thought she was as cute as Yuuki, which wasn't too much of a bother as long as she still got free gifts come Valentines day and wasn't expected to return them for White day, and the guys at school didn't treat her any differently. Kaname still called her a social menace and, okay, Chizuru thought she was kind of hot, but...

She didn't really think she'd get annoyed so much when it came to Shun.

Shun hadn't changed at all since they were younger, and he certainly never outright flirted with her like Chizuru did, but Shun had a way of making her feel inadequate, sometimes, especially when he looked a hundred times better as a girl than she probably did. It didn't help matters that _she_ asked him out by the end of junior high, and from then on Kaname had made it a point to call them a crossdressing couple. What a dick.

It wasn't as if liking Shun weren't enough -- she'd entertained thoughts of marriage to him, at some point, in that vague, abstract way young girls did when they were zoning out in class, but it didn't feel completely right to think of Shun as being forward, as being the one to initiate milestones in their relationship; it was always Yuuka who got down on one knee and proposed. Her daydreams would be filled with the impression of his cheek, tender and soft against her palm, and when he took her hand it would be pliant as a girl's should be.

Yuuka hated it.

"I don't know why you're making such a big deal about this," said Yuuki, as he passed a brush through her hair. "Shun is Shun, and Yuuka is Yuuka."

"You don't get it," Yuuka sighed, and he really didn't because he was a boy and they just had a completely different thought process altogether. Sometimes boys were really dumb, even if her brother was cool.

Yuuki looked like he would rather play video games than act as an impromptu and unlicensed guidance counselor, but Yuuki was a good brother and maybe he had a soft spot for her as much as she did for him. "Okay," said Yuuki, slowly, "what do I not get?"

Yuuka waved her hand impatiently. She didn't talk a lot in general, but sometimes she felt like she just needed to _talk_. "It's just that I feel as though I'm transferring some idealized version of gender roles to Shun, and that shouldn't be happening because I love him --" Yuuka ignored the way Yuuki blanched -- "and I want him to be whoever he wants to be, but sometimes I wish I were a boy instead so I wouldn't look bad next to him."

Yuuki ruffled her hair, a fond expression crossing his face for a fleeting moment. "Don't you think Shun wants that too, for you, but he doesn't want you to change?"

Yuuka slumped forward on her desk. "He _has_ been wearing those atrocious high tops lately."

"You know," said Yuuki, "sometimes you don't really need to make an effort."

"You know," said Yuuka, "sometimes you can be really smart even when you act like a stupid boy."

"That's Kaname," said Yuuki, "but don't tell him I said that."

Yuuka had to tilt her head upwards to kiss his cheek. If she were a boy, she wouldn't have had the height difference to consider, but if she were a boy, she probably wouldn't even bother to kiss him. There were some things she couldn't be completely happy with, especially when it came to how dissatisfied she felt with wanting to identify more with the men in her life rather than to view them through completely different lens, but there were some freedoms she could give herself as a girl, too. Yuuki grimaced but nodded, like he understood.

If she were a boy, she would probably be too afraid to even love Shun as much as she did. That, or she'd be too dense to realize she liked him romantically.

"I'm glad you're not a boy, then," said Shun, when she told him this on their next date.

"Boys are kinda dumb," said Yuuka, simply. "No offense."

"None taken," said Shun, laughing. And then he said something that made Yuuko remember why she liked him so much: "But even if you were, I don't think I'd mind as much."

Shun took her hand, and his fingers were bony, his touch awkward and a little rough, but it was perfect, all the same.

 


	3. Matsuoka Shuuko

 

In their sophomore year of high school, Shuuko and Yuuta joined the tea ceremony club. What that essentially meant was that Shuuko rarely got to go home with Kaname anymore, especially when their schedules conflicted, and Kaname's mother railed and wept at the heavens for the lost opportunity of begetting a future daughter in law.

"She was so perfect," his mother said, sounding bereft.

"Oh god," said Kaname, "stop being a drama queen, mom, she's not dead."

"She might as well be," said her mother, "she's lost to me forever and it's all because you couldn't take the initiative."

"I hope you remember this moment when I tell auntie you said that," Kaname yelled out.

"I'm so lonely," said his mother, and she wouldn't stop hovering above him until he gave up and went over to Shuuko's to finish his homework.

Shuuko laughed as Kaname related this to her and Hisako, and Hisako fluttered her fingers at Kaname even as she tittered gleefully. "Your poor mother," said Shuuko.

"She's batshit insane," said Kaname, flatly, then peered at his homework. "What did you guys get for number seven?"

"Well, she was already entertaining thoughts of your impending marriage ever since we played house and you guys were my parents," said Hisako, thoughtfully. "Come to think of it, you should have been the dog instead, Kaname-kun, if you wanted your life to be easier."

"I hate you," said Kaname, even as he swiped at her notebook.

"It's just so strange," said Shuuko. "I mean, you've had a crush on our teacher, Hisako's sister, and both my older sisters, and your mom never teased you about them."

It was only through years and years of reflex and training that Kaname didn't even bat an eyelash at that. Hisako, however, noticed the slight stiffening of his back, and gave him a pitying, if not exasperated, look.

"Yeah," said Kaname, "funny, now someone let me check my answer already."

 

It wasn't that Kaname was insanely in love with Shuuko. It really wasn't. It was just that he'd been conditioned (brainwashed) into thinking that he liked her a little too much by his mother's obsessive tendencies and Hisako's compulsive teasing. It also didn't help that Shuuko was adorably clueless and nice about everything and she had an admittedly good genetic makeup and a perfect smile and--

Yeah, he really wasn't in love with her. Not completely.

The sad part was, he wasn't even in the running for the competition.

 

So it was in their sophomore year that Shuuko and Yuuta joined the tea ceremony club, and it was also around that time that Shuuko and Yuuta became something of a definite item.

"We're heading off to the club now," said Shuuko, waving at Kaname cheerily, and she looped her arm around Yuuta's so easily that Kaname couldn't resist the urge to send Yuuta death glares as they walked out.

"Tea ceremony club," said Yuuki, picking at an errant thread on his sleeve. "Is that code for dating now?"

In retrospect, Yuuki hadn't been too far off the mark. It grated on Kaname's nerves to accede with anything Yuuki said, if only on principle, but it pissed him off more that he had to hear this from _Yuuki_ , of all people.

They'd known Yuuta and Yuuki since they were placed in the same preschool class together. It was around that time that Kaname figured out that Shuuko was going to be permanently stuck at Yuuta's side, despite the boy possessing the emotional quotient of a gnat, and the parents cooed and aww-ed (except for Kaname's mother, who had a vendetta against Yuuta's infringement of Kaname's prospective bride) at the sight of Yuuta's internal dilemma over choosing between his brother and his stalker. His brother won out, for a time, but Shuuko was all sorts of awesomely kind and she grew into her looks so well that Yuuta had to have been blind to not give her the time of day. Kaname still had his reservations about it, given how masochistic Shuuko looked half the time ( _anyone_ who willingly spent time with the twins was bound to have a masochistic streak somewhere, or the world's worst luck ever). When Yuuta had briefly dated a girl in their freshman year, Shuuko was almost inconsolable.

"I saw them kissing in the gym the other day," said Chizuru, spoiling Kaname's many thoughts of inflicting harm upon Yuuta in the worst way imaginable. "Your bro is so lucky."

Chizuru had held a torch for Shuuko since day one, only dampened by his questionable interactions with one Satou Masaki. Kaname could commiserate with Chizuru, to an extent, in the way the men who never stood a chance would. It didn't mean he didn't find Chizuru less annoying.

"Shuuko's okay," said Yuuki, shrugging. "Yuuta's pretty happy, I think."

" _Not that happy_ ," muttered Kaname, shredding a piece of paper with a viciousness deserving of criminals and sociopaths.

"Ah," said Yuuki, as an afterthought. "I forgot you were still hung up on her. Sorry about that."

"Shut up," said Kaname, and stalked off to bury himself in student council work.

 

Kaname didn't know if it would have been worse if Yuuta were a bastard boyfriend. On the one hand, Kaname would have been given an excuse to punch him. On the other hand, Shuuko would have left him early on. But Yuuta was nothing if not the perfect boyfriend -- a true gentleman, always so considerate of his girlfriend. Always so devoted, if not a little... detached.

"He's always been like that," said Shuuko, shrugging after he relayed what Takahashi, Yuuta's one-time girlfriend, had reportedly admitted to her friends. Shuuko was tinkering with the settings of her phone and didn't look too concerned. "We didn't grow up with him knowing nothing, you know."

Kaname looked at her, exasperated. "I can't believe I'm hearing this from you?"

Shuuko crinkled her nose. "Huh?"

"I thought _you_ were supposed to have an idealized version of love in your head," said Kaname, pretending to busy himself with a math problem in an effort to look more disinterested than he really was. "I mean, it's kinda weird that I'm the one with all the expectations when I'm not even invested in the relationship."

She let her head rest against the side of his seat; her hair fell across his thigh in wisps, and it almost made him shiver. "You're right," she said, laughing. "It doesn't sound like you at all."

Kaname stared at his notebook. "It's just not right that a guy should go out with a girl and not be a little more expressive, you know."

"Yuuta's expressive," said Shuuko, only to look guilty at his pointed stare. " _Sometimes_. But he can't help being who he is, and I like him even if I..."

It was hard to sound less expectant at that. Something in him constricted. "Even if you...?"

Shuuko considered her phone, and she toyed with the strap. She did that, sometimes, when she was thinking deeply, and Kaname knew this because he was always, always watching her. "It's like, sometimes I wish I were more mature for him, but he doesn't care about that, you know? And he likes me even if I think he could do a lot better than me," said Shuuko, slowly, and Kaname wanted to say _he doesn't deserve you, you're perfect, you could do a lot better, you could_ , but Shuuko closed her eyes and looked a little lost that Kaname lost the nerve. "But I still want more from him sometimes, and I'm scared that it's more than he could give me and I'd never be happy with that. And I don't want to ruin anything with him."

Shuuko opened her eyes. "He's my friend, first and foremost."

Kaname swallowed. "It's hard, isn't it? Never being able to move forward or back when you're friends."

"Yeah," said Shuuko, morosely, "but I'll take what I can get."

Kaname didn't say anything else after that.

 

They were walking across the convenience store when Shuuko faltered in her steps. She was looking at something in the distance, and Kaname threw a questioning glance at her.

"It's nothing," said Shuuko, visibly recovering from her alarm. "Let's go."

Kaname narrowed his eyes at her. From the way she was gripping his arm tightly to steer him away, it was obvious something was wrong. "What is it? And don't lie to me again or else I'll bitch at you forever."

Shuuko cracked a small smile, at that, but it wasn't all there. "I just," she started, then stuttered to a stop. It took her a few more seconds before the confusion in her face cleared away. "I thought I saw Yuuta, back at that cafe."

"Isn't he supposed to be at a friend's?" Kaname said.

"I know, I know," said Shuuko, "but it was a girl from our class and I... I..."

The next few minutes were a blur to Kaname. He vaguely heard Shuuko's panicked yells at him as he stalked past the convenience store and the passersby, nearly steamrolling a few of the slower junior high schoolers in his haste. He didn't hear Chizuru's noise of recognition or see the widening of his eyes as he stammered out a quick "HIIIIKANAMEYOU'RENOTSUPPOSEDTOBEHERELET'SGO", and he also didn't realize that he had shrugged off Chizuru and Shuuko's combined pulls at his uniform sleeves. What he remembered, instead, was how he saw Yuuta touch the top of another girl's head and his mind shut down in his rage.

The people surrounding Yuuta's table immediately sprung up and shrieked at the possible altercation, and given how Kaname pulled Yuuta up from his seat by the back of his collar, it was only to Kaname's credit that he at least had the sense of mind to direct the confrontation away from the rest of civilization. Yuuta didn't seem to mind the way Kaname was manhandling him, and he kept up with Kaname's pace with such forbearance that Kaname wanted to seize at his throat just to snap him out of his calmness.

"Let him go," Yuuta's companion was demanding. "What are you-- _stop that_!"

"You shut up," yelled out Kaname, "or I won't be responsible for my actions!"

She closed her mouth, struck dumb. He must have looked wild, like this, with his glasses askew and his hair mussed up, nothing like the student council president. He felt like it, too.

"What the hell was that?" Kaname seethed, pushing Yuuta against the brick wall in the alley behind the cafe. Chizuru and Shuuko both cried out his name in alarm.

"Hello to you, too," said Yuuta, dryly. He raised his eyes to meet Shuuko's, from behind Kaname, and Shuuko fidgeted in place.

"You--"

"Tsukahara-san!" The girl cried out. "Stop! This is all a misunderstanding!"

Kaname growled, low in his throat, and sent her a quialing look. "Misunderstanding, huh? All I see is a cheating scum bag and you're telling me to stop?"

"He's not cheating on Matsuoka-san," said the girl, visibly shaking. "I swear, he isn't. He was just helping me scare my ex-boyfriend off."

"Yeah, well, you're probably just protecting him," said Kaname, not letting go of Yuuta's collar.

"Kaname-kun," said Shuuko, finally taking pity on the girl. "Please let go of Yuuta-kun."

She touched the inside of his wrist; at the contact, his hands trembled, but he deflated. Yuuta watched all this with an unchanging expression, but when he turned to Shuuko, finally, his voice sounded incredibly sad.

"You used to get jealous of Yuuki a lot, when we were kids," said Yuuta, "but you can't see anything beyond me, can you?"

Kaname flinched at the insinuation, and he shut his eyes; a hundred explanations were ready to tumble out of his hopeless mouth in his defense, and Shuuko would probably be confused and angry and oh god -- oh god, she wasn't supposed to know --

"Yuuta-kun," said Shuuko, "I don't understand."

Kaname opened his eyes. Shuuko looked so wounded that Kaname's heart leapt to his throat; he snarled and did the only thing his mind kept yelling at him to:

He punched Yuuta.

 

Shuuko didn't break up with Yuuta even if Kaname was sporting a rather attractive bruise on his jaw and a nose that felt like it was broken. When Shuuko touched the slope of his nose, Kaname flinched, despite himself, and bit the inside of his cheek until it felt raw and tender.

"You didn't have to pick a fight with him," said Shuuko, slowly. "It was all a mistake, on our part."

"I know," said Kaname, suddenly ashamed. He looked at the gaps between his fingers, rested against his knobby knees.

"You didn't have to protect my honor, either," said Shuuko. "Fuyuki was a little mad about that."

"A little?" Kaname snorted. The damn brat was absolutely _livid_ about Kaname usurping his role. It was the one good thing that came out of this scenario.

"... okay," Shuuko amended, "he was more than a little mad. But Kaname-kun--"

Kaname sighed. "I'm sorry I jumped to conclusions and, well, jumped your boyfriend when I saw him with another girl."

Shuuko glared at him, but Kaname raised his hand to cover her mouth; it only took one palm to cover the length of her lips, and her breath felt hot against his skin.

"I'm also sorry I didn't listen to you when I should have. But I'm _not_ sorry for punching him out when he almost made you cry."

"He does that a lot," said Shuuko, her muffled voice fond and filled with some emotion Kaname couldn't bear to hear. So he tried to humor her instead.

"Then I won't apologize for future attacks on his person, even if he files for a restraining order," said Kaname. "Assuming you're still together by then."

"I'm working on it," said Shuuko. She raised her hand to pull at his fingers, but Kaname kept them still, locked in place, his thumb brushing the edge of her mouth. He looked at her as if he were trying to find something that he couldn't place.

"I don't get it," said Kaname, voice rough as he removed his hand, "can't guys be friends with girls without it meaning anything?"

"I don't get it either," Shuuko confessed, "but if it's worth anything, I love you very much."

Shuuko's eyes were bright and her smile was wide and something in Kaname ached at the sight. "Yeah," he echoed, "I feel the same way."

 


	4. Asaba Yuuki

 

**a short list of reasons why Yuuta hates having Yuuki for a sister**

 

_1\. cleanliness, or the lack thereof_

 

He'd thought girls were supposed to be prim and proper, but Yuuki-as-a-teenager wasn't much different from Yuuki-as-a-child. She was still the same lazy kid who left all her manga in disarray on the floor, with the added horror of being a slob even with her underwear. Yuuta had gotten a little used to picking up discarded bras in the bathroom floor where they missed the laundry hamper, but it was still unnerving to _touch_ it and know it was his sister's. Jeeze.

Even Shun was a lot neater than Yuuki was, and Shun wasn't even a girl. Then again, Shun was more feminine than everyone in their grade, so perhaps he was a bad example. _Kaname_ definitely had Yuuki beaten in that area, but it was to be expected with someone as anal as Kaname was. The best comparison Yuuta could think of was that Yuuki was equal to or more of a slob than Chizuru, who left packs of chips open everywhere.

("I hope, for your sake, that your future husband has OCD," said Yuuta as he rearranged the stacks of DVDs in the living room.

"I'm working on that," said Yuuki, flashing him an email on her phone addressed to Kaname.

"Oh my god," said Yuuta, and he didn't ask again.)

 

_2\. romance_

 

For a long time running, they'd been called "the hot Asaba twins from this or that grade". Yuuta could understand the aesthetic appeal, but sometimes he had to wonder about Yuuki's fans.

Yuuki didn't put a lot of effort into dressing up or looking good; she just did. But what was really disillusioning about her was that she was the worst date ever, in the way that only semi-reclusive and indifferent people could be. Yuuta had learned to go through all the social niceties at an early age, but Yuuki just couldn't put in the effort to be... well, more interested in other people.

The last time someone tried to pick her up in Shibuya, she had stared at the guy until he lost his nerve and slunk away. When Yuuta had come across her and Kaname later in the afternoon, Kaname passed a frustrated hand over his face and said, in no uncertain terms, that it was only because he had brain damage that he was even spending time with a girl as insensitive and socially awkward as Yuuki.

It still didn't explain why Kaname felt it was necessary to express his affection through apoplexies and why Yuuki secretly found it endearing, to some extent, but Kaname was strange like that and Yuuta didn't really want to know about his sister's forays into romance. It was just wrong to think of someone who looked essentially like him sucking face with _Kaname_. Yuuta couldn't understand the appeal.

("Obviously you're in the wrong demographic," said Yuuki, dipping her fries into her sundae even as she read the latest compilation of BExBOY magazine.

"Obviously you're insane," Yuuta retorted, looking pointedly at her reading material.

Yuuki sighed. "You have no appreciation for art and the finer points of love." Yuuta, of course, would call bullshit.)

 

_3\. boybands_

 

Yuuta's ability to name all members of each boyband in the Japanese, Korean _and_ Chinese pop industry? It was all Yuuki's fault.

("What are you doing?" Yuuta said, stopping in his tracks. Yuuki was doing some sort of weird aerobic exercise that made her look pretty dumb even with her good coordination.

"Trying to memorize the dance steps," said Yuuki, even as the song apologized for Yuuki's future actions involving knocking over their mother's vase.

If Yuuta were anything like Kaname, he would probably prostrate himself in front of Yuuki and yell "I HATE YOU, WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME". He settled for imagining it instead.)

 

_and one reason Yuuki hates having Yuuta for a brother:_

 

"I'm moving out," Yuuki announced shortly before her sophomore year at university.

"What," said their mother, looking lost. "When was this decided and why was I not informed of this?"

"Kaname asked her to move in with him," said Yuuta, no-nonsense as always despite his internal agony at the thought. He was probably working on getting negative results to prevent her from ever leaving his side, the bastard. Yuuki kicked him under the table, none too gently.

"That sweet boy with the glasses?" Their mother said, sounding approving. Yuuta and Yuuki both gagged, only for Yuuki to remember that she was supposed to be on Kaname's side. Years of dating Kaname never weaned her from her instinctive responses.

"He's a menace," Their father said, poking at his shrimp viciously. Their father was one of the reasons why Kaname was never allowed to set foot in the Asaba household, even on the pretext of hanging out with Yuuta. Not that Yuuta volunteered himself for it.

"He's okay," said Yuuki. "I mean, he's great."

"That's not what you said last week," said Yuuta, delicately.

"You're not helping," said Yuuki, at the sight of their father bristling in his seat like an angry cat.

"Make sure to use contraceptives," said Yuuta, as if he were discussing the weather. "When do you think we can expect a wedding?"

"I'm sure he'll look after her," their mother said, sympathetically. "I only worry she'll drive him insane and he'll call it off."

"He's been insane for years," said Yuuta, with as much cheer as he could muster. "I wouldn't worry about him having a moment of lucidity."

"I hate you," said Yuuki, watching their father hunt down a shovel he could use to bury Kaname's (future and hopefully) unconscious body with.

"Love you too, sis," said Yuuta, pecking her on her temple.

Ugh.

 


	5. Tachibana Chizu

Tachibana Chizu rarely worked on a fully-functioning schedule, but if there was one thing she was good at, it was hunting down a certain cute boy.

On a good day, the girls in her class would ignore her antics as they trooped around someone's chair and talked about the latest fashion magazine (that absolutely paled to the ones Chizu used to buy in Germany, god). On a good day, she would be off terrorizing other classes in what constituted as normal, stalker-ish behavior.

On a bad day, she was denied passage by one Tsukahara Kaname instead.

"I'm not even going to ask why you're peeping inside the boys' bathroom," said Kaname, picking her up by the collar of her uniform.

The first time Chizu had been caught by Kaname, she had tried out acting as a confused foreign exchange student. Now, she just mangled her Japanese for kicks. She spouted off random words that may or may not have been related to wishing death and pestilence upon Kaname's nether regions. To his credit, Kaname didn't even budge.

"Shun," hollered Kaname, "your stalker's here."

"Shun-kun!" Chizu cried out, struggling out of Kaname's death grip without having to risk flashing anyone with the wondrous sight of her chest, "Kaname's hurting me!"

" _I am not, you liar_."

"EEK," said Chizu, "HE'S GROPING ME, RAAAAAPE!"

Disgusted, Kaname released her and said, snidely, "Oh, so now you can speak Japanese fluently?"

Shun emerged, from the bathroom, looking shocked. "Kaname! I thought we talked about maltreating Chizu-chan already."

"It's not maltreatment if I'm just protecting your virtue, princess," said Kaname.

"I'm not the delicate flower you make me out to be," said Shun. "If anything, you've probably hurt poor Chizu-chan."

Chizu's smile had, by now, melted into a dopey grin. Chizu wasn't really completely self-absorbed, truth be told. She was just easily taken in by pretty faces. Take, for example, Shun's.

"Shun-kun," Chizu swooned. "I feel so faint. Hold me!"

"Chizu-chan," said Shun, sounding worried, "you look so pale!"

From across them, Kaname was looking unimpressed at Chizu's theatrics. That, or he couldn't believe how gullible Shun was. He was just jealous. EVERYONE was jealous. Even those damn twins from the other class who stuck to Shun's side like glue. No one understood what Shun meant for Chizu, or how important Shun was to her. They just really didn't get it.

 

Chizu liked to believe in love at first sight, but the only time she ever received confirmation that it existed was when she had tripped over a prank involving a cleaning mop and a pail and had promptly fallen into Matsuoka Shun's arms.

It was only afterwards, when Shun had departed after patching her up and giving her a spare uniform of his classmate's, that Kaname had promptly ruined the first flush of romance that lingered in Chizu's imagination.

"I'm pretty sure Shun's gay," said Kaname, as if it weren't the first time he was talking to her.

"What," said Chizu.

"Okay, halfway sure," said Kaname. "I really can't tell sometimes."

"I'd appreciate it if you didn't ruin a man's reputation so off-handedly," said Chizu, fists already raised threateningly. "Who the hell are you and how dare you impugn my knight's honor?"

Kaname raised an eyebrow. "Your knight in shining armor's childhood friend."

Chizu immediately fell to her knees. "Master, please impart your worldly knowledge on this lowly subject."

"Great," said Kaname. "The first girl that Shun charms and it's a potential stalker. Wonderful."

"Never underestimate the purity of my love!"

It probably didn't help her case that the first thing she asked Kaname was whether Shun was a boxers or briefs kind of guy, but at least Kaname was easy to butter up, on occasion.

Shun's other friends, however, were a different matter.

 

Shun ate at the rooftop despite the teachers expressly forbidding students from entering the area. It probably had to do with Kaname being a total suck up to the faculty, but Chizu privately thought that it was all thanks to the Asaba twins' elaborate fabrication of a genetic disease that necessitated getting enough sunlight in a day.

If Chizu had a domestic bone in her body, she would have brought bento to Shun everyday. Luckily for her future, Shun had a knack for cooking and delighted in feeding her bits and pieces of his lunch. If Kaname grimaced at how Chizu pointedly used Shun's chopsticks, to hell with him. He had no appreciation for indirect kisses whatsoever.

The rest of Shun's lunch went to the twins -- a fact that Chizu despaired of, to this day.

Yuuki leaned over Yuuta's shoulder to reach for Shun's lunchbox with his chopsticks. "Are you gonna eat that?"

Chizu stuck out her tongue. "Don't touch Shun's ham!"

"I don't want to get Shun fat," said Yuuki.

"Don't worry about me, Chizu-chan," said Shun. "I made enough for everyone, I think."

"You're so kind, Shun-kun," said Chizu.

"I'm not," said Shun. When he smiled, there were dimples on his cheeks. When they got married in the future, their children would have dimples too, and Shun's lovely eyes and his beautiful auburn hair --

"Oh great," said Kaname, hitting her upside the head. "She's fantasizing about you again."

"I absolutely am not," said Chizu, "right, Mary?"

Satou Masaki, a freshman who had taken to Shun recently, seemed to shrivel into herself and shy away from Chizu; she seemed to have develop a dislike for Chizu from day one, but it may have had to do with Chizu touching her chest and wondering aloud if they wore the same bra size -- an unhealthy habit from going to an all-girls school in the early stages of puberty.

Masaki muttered something, but Chizu drowned it out by tackling her and clutching her to her chest.

"You're so cute," said Chizu, petting "Mary's" overly fluffy hair. "You're almost as cute as me, but I seriously want to adopt you or something!"

"Cut that out!" Masaki growled out.

"Aww," said Chizu, fondly, "she's like an impertinent puppy! I just want to smack her around and pinch her all day!"

"... Scary," said Yuuki, under his breath, and Kaname, still looking aghast at her, nodded his head in agreement.

When Mary had finally left after reaching her limit of Chizu's unwanted attentions, Chizu went back to her seat beside Shun and pressed her side to Shun's arms, prepared to babble an ode to Masaki's adorable face.

"You're marking your territory," said Yuuta, observant as always.

"Gotta keep the new girl at bay," said Chizu.

"Still not your territory to mark," said Yuuta.

Yuuta sometimes said things that sounded off-hand, in that detached way that the Asaba twins were known for, but underneath his calmness, Chizu could tell there was something darker in there. Like a warning.

Chizu raised her chin and met his gaze with a winning smile. "I'll see you tomorrow, Asaba-san."

 

"Okay, I don't know what drugs you are on, but clearly, you're beyond crazy," said Kaname.

"What are you talking about?" Chizu scoffed, arm-deep in wading through Shun's shoe locker.

"This is breaking and entering!" Kaname said, looking ready to hyperventilate into the nearest bag available. "This is a criminal offense and, and, oh god, I can't believe I'm acting as a party to _this_."

"Oh, stop being a baby," said Chizu. "I'm just investigating things. Sniffing the competition out."

"Being a stalker," said Kaname, pointedly.

"OKAY," said Chizu, emerging from the pile of Valentine chocolates stuffed in Shun's locker. "I'm done, you baby. Now let's go before Shun catches us."

"Catches _you_ ," said Kaname, suddenly uncomfortable. "Look, I know you're in love with him and stuff, but you do realize you just crossed a line here? If he finds out, he'll never forgive you."

Chizu rose, to her full height, smiling and showing teeth. " _If_."

When Chizu patted him on the shoulder, Kaname didn't look amused at all. If anything, he looked somber, as if he were unsure and he wanted the right answers in the world.

"I don't like what you're doing," said Kaname. "I never liked it, but I figured you were harmless and I liked you anyway, but this is something different."

"I'm just protecting him from crazy girls, okay?" Chizu said, scowling.

"What crazy girls? The only crazy girl I see is --"

"The girls in my class are bullying him," Chizu blurted out.

Kaname looked, for lack of a better word, like Chizu had just punched him in the gut and strung his pants up the flag pole. "Uh, what?"

Chizu rubbed her face against her palms and said, through her fingers, "They found out I liked Shun a lot and now they wanted to get back at me through him. They hate me, okay, and just the other day they were talking about putting some really gross stuff in his locker."

"So you risked ruining your nail polish for him," said Kaname, flatly.

Chizu spread her palms in the air, looked at the tips of her fingers that shone blue in the flourescent lighting of the entry way. "Didn't I tell you? Don't underestimate how much I like him."

"Why do you even like Shun?" Kaname asked.

Chizu thought of recounting the numerous ways Shun was the perfect catch; she thought of telling Kaname about the slight splay of freckles across Shun's collarbone, the hint of a tiny mole on his wrist. How he was everything she had dreamed of and more.

Instead, Chizu told him a story.

 

When Chizu transferred to Japan, she had thought, in an abstract sense, that she would love everything about it.

Too bad she didn't care for a lot of things, too.

It wasn't that the food wasn't good or the festivals didn't match the hype -- Chizu had devoured everything in sight, vegetables, raw fish and all, and the festivals weren't Oktober fest-worthy but they had a more idyllic feel to them. Plus the kimonos looked really good on her.

It was just that there were some people who weren't as accepting of her as she thought they would be, if the dubious stares from some of the older, more conservative types were any indication of that. One of her teachers had threatened to dye her hair black if she didn't conform to the dress code, but her father had shown up for a parent-teacher meeting with his equally blonde hair and his equally blue eyes, and it didn't stop the snide remarks from the teacher at all.

The guys in her year thought her utter cluelessness of advanced (and some basic) Japanese as a foreigner was cute. The girls found it endearing at first, only to quickly revise their opinions when Chizu began to get a lot of attention. They called her fake and a whore, but even Chizu, with her stuttering sentences, could decipher an insult when she heard one, mostly because she'd heard them from her grandmother every time she was watching an award show. Chizu didn't really care. She had no real interest in people who got jealous of sudden bouts of popularity, and she didn't care for uncool people like that. Sure, Chizu was kind of shallow, but at least she was comfortable enough to accept herself.

It didn't mean it wasn't lonely, though.

She told all this to Kaname, as they watched Shun serve tea to one of the underclassmen during club hour. The line of his arm was thin and white, but Chizu knew that behind that fragility was an intensity that could have only been strength. It was easy to forget that Shun could have easily fended off her advances. It was easy to forget that sometimes, she and Kaname were more alike than they realized.

"So what," said Kaname, "the first person who acts nice around you is the love of your life now? Get real."

"Well, he was the only guy who wasn't really interested in sleeping with me," said Chizu.

"I'm not interested in sleeping with you," said Kaname.

"Yeah, but you're not _nice_ ," said Chizu. "Maybe if you grew out your hair and acted like Shun all the time, then I'd be interested."

"I think you're secretly lesbian," said Kaname, grimacing.

"You're only saying that because you have an unrequited crush on me, don't you?" Chizu preened. "Aww, Kaname-kun, I didn't know you felt that way!"

"... Excuse me while I vomit in my seat," said Kaname, turning away.

"THAT WASN'T A NO," Chizu called after him. Besides, she thought, with not a little mischief, he _did_ say he liked her.

Chizu had to admit: life was pretty damn good.


	6. Satou Masaomi

At fifteen, Masaomi kissed someone for the first time.

In the darkened stairwell, before soccer practice ended and the school gates began to close, he caught her; she fell upon him in a flurry of kimonos, article upon article that tripped her with every move.

The tray she carried clattered uselessly, to the side, the wood hollow against the steps. Her sleeve pooled around her elbows; her bare arm was white, whiter than his mother's.

She turned her head as he bent forward to inspect her face; his lips touched the corner of her mouth, briefly. Her cheeks like apples, curved and stained red. Her eyes, they were wide and wondering.

Wordlessly, he looked at her. His face was warm, from shame. He thought of apologizing; he thought of blustering his way through the awkwardness. Instead, he picked up her tray; he pushed it to her chest, so roughly she had to clasp her arms over it.

"Um," she began. She tried to say something else; speech, it seemed, failed her, as robbed as he was of eloquence. When he frowned, she seemed to understand, though. She smiled.

"Thank you," she said. Her hair tumbled out of its messy bun. It fell past her shoulders when she bowed her head. He was struck with a dizzying, terrifying realization that he wanted to feel its softness beneath his fingers.

He ran, instead.

 

Masaomi was awkward with most of the girls in his class. Beyond the normal social ineptitude of his age and his natural reticence, he supposed it might have been his appearance at fault, too.

He was too gangly, too long-limbed. When the class had to change for PE, the other boys stared at the long line of his back, muttering that it wasn't fair that Satou got all the girls with his height and his baby face. But Masaomi did not know what to do with the coltish clumsiness, the distant ideal of the girls that he'd failed to match up to.

So when he'd shared his newfound interest with his senpai from the student council committee in an effort to fish for information that would have been impossible to obtain from his female classmates, Tsukahara Kaname took the timely opportunity to enter the room. He rubbed at the bridge of his nose and sighed.

"What did I say about encouraging school romances, you lot," he growled out.

"Don't be a wet rag," said Tachibana-senpai. "Don't you see Masa-kun finally reached the pinnacle of a young boy's desires?"

"What have you been reading?" Tsukahara-senpai sniped. "And get out of here, you. The committee meeting's done." He narrowed his eyes. "And what is _he_ doing here?"

"Yo," said Asaba Yuuki. "Kaname's getting pissy again, I see."

"You're not even a committee member," Kaname-senpai said.

"I'm here to babysit," said Asaba-senpai.

"Hey," said Tachibana-senpai, "if anyone needs looking after, it would be you. And anyway," he paused, to wave a hand towards Masaomi, "what are we gonna do about _this_?"

For a passing acquiantance, Tachibana-senpai looked awfully interested in the sordid details of Masaomi's life. Too pushy by far, but he never did go by halves.

"I was just asking," said Masaomi, turning a shade of red previously identifiable only in fruit.

"Get this," said Tachibana-senpai, snickering. "Lover boy's crush is in _our_ class."

"Okay," said Tsukahara-senpai, unfazed.

"How do you even know that?" Masaomi asked.

Asaba-senpai flipped a page of the manga he was reading. "Long hair, girl's kimono, tea ceremony club," he recited.

Tsukahara-senpai went back to rubbing his forehead. "Say no more," he said.

"Ah, but I don't blame Masa-kun," said Tachibana-senpai. "Did I ever tell you I had a huge crush on the same person too?"

"I wouldn't know," said Masaomi.

"And he got the whole bumping into each other in the hallway scenario too," said Tachibana-senpai.

"Staircase," Asaba-senpai corrected.

Tachibana-senpai ignored him. "Hey," he said, slyly, "how was it? Did you get a little full frontal contact?"

"Don't be crass," said Tsukahara-senpai. "I may have to throw up a little."

"Well?" Tachibana-senpai turned eager eyes to him. Masaomi pursed his mouth. He looked at the floor.

"She was wonderful," he said, in a hushed, disquieted voice. He touched his fingers to his lips. It was still warm.

"Yeah, well," said his Asaba-senpai, bored, " _she_ is actually a boy."

Tachibana-senpai, the bastard, had the temerity to laugh.

 

He met her -- him again, in the stairwell. His hair was shorn short, this time, a fluffed up mess of curls uneven, inexpertly attended to. The kimono, too, was absent; the blazer of his uniform, the neat press of his pants -- all of it seemed accusing, a betrayal, even.

Masaomi ducked his head. He kept his eyes averted. Matsuoka Shun -- that was his name, no longer the shadow of a girl Masaomi could have loved. Would have, in time.

"Good afternoon," Matsuoka-senpai said, finally taking pity on him. Masaomi echoed the greeting, listless.

Matsuoka-senpai went down the stairs, carefully. When he was on the same step as Masaomi, he came up shorter, but taller than Masaomi remembered. "It's okay," said Matsuoka-senpai. "It was an accident, wasn't it?"

He kept his shoulders hunched, his fingers a tight fist atop his thighs. He thought of how he'd reached for the girl, on impulse, how she was soft sequestered in his arms. How he'd thought to inhale her scent, and stooped lower.

"An accident," Masaomi lied. Matsuoka-senpai nodded at him, and walked away. Masaomi waited until his footsteps stopped ringing clear and true in the hallway before he raised his head.

"It was a mistake," he said, aloud. He laughed -- sharp, bitter. "I'm an idiot, aren't I?"

No one answered. Just as well. In the future, he could remember the girl in the staircase with fondness, probably. He might even have the courage to apologize. For now, only the shame was there. It was real.

At fifteen, Masaomi learned how to forget what a kiss meant to him, for the first time.

 


End file.
